Before a shattering announcement that we won't be continuing for the next level of training, we have this activity wherein the trainer calls an employee number and the owner of the number are asked to stand in front of the class and pick a piece of paper from a plastic cup. The piece of papers have questions in it. Read the question aloud and try (as in try lang 'ne) to answer (Mga Bakla, akala ko ba pageant to? Eh quiz bee to eh ahihihihi.)
Maloloka ka naman talaga sa mga tanong.
"How would you like the world to remember you?" (Emotelya ituh!)
"What is your idea of slurging?" (Dugo ilong ko dyan pwamis. Ndi ko alam meaning eh hahahahaha)
"If you will be given an one-year supply of a food, what would it be?" (Ndi ko alam sagutin yan patay tayo dyan.)
"Do you consider yourself as an honest person?" (Gumaganon talaga amputah hahahaha!)
"If you are single, why should someone marry you? If you are married or committed, why do you think that person chose you?" (Oh, taray sa tanong!)
"What is the weirdest thing you've eaten?" (Lesbian friend ko ang tinanong. Wala pa syang sagot hagalpak na kami lahat ng tawa. Kepyas daw. Pero lalo kaming tumawa sa sagot nya. "Mahilig ako sa saging na may gatas!")
Eto na ang moment ng lolo nyo. Tinawag ang numerong "two two seven six four!!"
"That would be me." Tumayo ako at pumunta sa harap.
"Go Boone!!" Cheer and buong class. Star lang ang eksena ahehehehe.
"Pick a question here." Inabot ng trainor ang plastic cup at dumukot ako ng papel.
"Here it goes."
Binasa ng tahimik ang tanong. Sumimangot
"I hate this question!"
"Hahahaha. Say the question!" nangungulit ang mga classmates ko.
I cleared my throat and started reading.
"If I could be a person other than myself, I would be dot dot dot."
Buntong-hininga ulit. Prepare lang sa answer. Isang hinga ulit.
"Sadly, I wouldn't want to be anyone else. First, I am a creation of God, and I'm unique.."
"Panalo ka bakla!!!!!!!!!" Sigawan ang mga puta. Keber na sa English Only Zone sign sa harap. With the matching palakpakan. Imbyerna...
"...secondly, I would know the people who made person I am today if I'm not myself..."
"Bakla, hindi Miss Universe to! Klase lang 'te, klase... hahahaha." Parang parlor ang training room.
"...lastly, the world will never be the same without me. I thank you. With a schwa and a twang."
"Korona, bakla, sa iyo na ang korona! Hahahahaha." Palakpakan ulit. Kaloka. Kakatawa.
Pero in fairness, ganun naman talaga no. Kung ibang tao ako, sino ang magiging Editor-in-Chief ng Aeroscope nung 2003-2004 sa PATTS? Sino ang magiging first Chieftain ng PULSE? Sino ang magiging alibughang anak ni Pidot? At higit sa lahat, sino ang magiging butihing maybahay (Ano daaaawwww???) ni Juan???
Huwag na kumontra. At wag na magmaganda. Hindi ka perpekto. Period
Maloloka ka naman talaga sa mga tanong.
"How would you like the world to remember you?" (Emotelya ituh!)
"What is your idea of slurging?" (Dugo ilong ko dyan pwamis. Ndi ko alam meaning eh hahahahaha)
"If you will be given an one-year supply of a food, what would it be?" (Ndi ko alam sagutin yan patay tayo dyan.)
"Do you consider yourself as an honest person?" (Gumaganon talaga amputah hahahaha!)
"If you are single, why should someone marry you? If you are married or committed, why do you think that person chose you?" (Oh, taray sa tanong!)
"What is the weirdest thing you've eaten?" (Lesbian friend ko ang tinanong. Wala pa syang sagot hagalpak na kami lahat ng tawa. Kepyas daw. Pero lalo kaming tumawa sa sagot nya. "Mahilig ako sa saging na may gatas!")
Eto na ang moment ng lolo nyo. Tinawag ang numerong "two two seven six four!!"
"That would be me." Tumayo ako at pumunta sa harap.
"Go Boone!!" Cheer and buong class. Star lang ang eksena ahehehehe.
"Pick a question here." Inabot ng trainor ang plastic cup at dumukot ako ng papel.
"Here it goes."
Binasa ng tahimik ang tanong. Sumimangot
"I hate this question!"
"Hahahaha. Say the question!" nangungulit ang mga classmates ko.
I cleared my throat and started reading.
"If I could be a person other than myself, I would be dot dot dot."
Buntong-hininga ulit. Prepare lang sa answer. Isang hinga ulit.
"Sadly, I wouldn't want to be anyone else. First, I am a creation of God, and I'm unique.."
"Panalo ka bakla!!!!!!!!!" Sigawan ang mga puta. Keber na sa English Only Zone sign sa harap. With the matching palakpakan. Imbyerna...
"...secondly, I would know the people who made person I am today if I'm not myself..."
"Bakla, hindi Miss Universe to! Klase lang 'te, klase... hahahaha." Parang parlor ang training room.
"...lastly, the world will never be the same without me. I thank you. With a schwa and a twang."
"Korona, bakla, sa iyo na ang korona! Hahahahaha." Palakpakan ulit. Kaloka. Kakatawa.
Pero in fairness, ganun naman talaga no. Kung ibang tao ako, sino ang magiging Editor-in-Chief ng Aeroscope nung 2003-2004 sa PATTS? Sino ang magiging first Chieftain ng PULSE? Sino ang magiging alibughang anak ni Pidot? At higit sa lahat, sino ang magiging butihing maybahay (Ano daaaawwww???) ni Juan???
Huwag na kumontra. At wag na magmaganda. Hindi ka perpekto. Period
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