Anjan Ka Pala!?!

It was a table full of laughter at the dining area of Brooklyn Pizza in Tiendesitas. And yes, the laughter will be so loud, it covers the sound of the rain outside. Flunked with all the members of TSC, or The Singing Christians, this long table is the witness of the celebration of the choir's thirtieth anniversary.

Thirtieth... Wow!

While everyone is enjoying the multiple-flavored pizzas, pasta, garlic bread and spicy chicken, I approached Kuya Ronan, the choir's musical director, sitting on the far side of the table. Holding my K770i, I reread to him the text message I recieved from my boyfriend just a few minutes ago,

"Kuya, pinapatanong po ni Jon yung about sa school", and shows him the message on the cellphone.

"Ay, oo nga pala. Sige, pakisabi tawagan nya tong number na to", he picked up his own cellphone and showed me a number from his phonebook. "Pakisabi kailangan tawagan, huwag itext at hindi sya rereplyan nyan. Paki sabi kako siya yung student kong piyanista na nirefer ko..."

I felt apalled on the no-text, just call statement; this person must be too important not to waste time pushing buttons on a bussiness talk. While I was taking down the number on my phone, a question popped out of Kuya Ronan's lips.

"Saan kayo nagkakilala ni Jonathan?"

Whoa... I was surprised that question popped out of thin air. I swing my eyes sidewayd to see if anyone on the table was looking for me to answer..

"Uhhhmmm, common friend kuya." That answer was lightly sounded, but determined.

"Boyfriend mo ba sya?"

That statement seemed to have killed the talk on the table, everyone was looking at me, an answer they anxiously waiting. TSC doesn't know I'm bisexual; I'd rather be quiet about that issue, else being brought up. It took me seconds to answer that question, jokingly.

"Why not kuya? Hahaha!" That was a fake laugh, ignoring the reaction from the choir.

But then, a heartful laugh burst on the table.

"Phillippe, ikaw ha, may sikreto ka, hahaha!" says one of the members.

I myself gave a half-hearted laugh. Kuya Ronan faced me again, "Ako ata nagulat dun ah."

Since that little joke, I know I'll have to confess everything this evening, at least before we part our ways, or else an issue will cloud the singing with the choir.

After that noisy dinner, everyone packed up to proceed to the next activity. We will be proceeding to the house of one of the members to have the yearly assesment through a game and a few hard drinks. At first I have to say no, because I haven't slept for the last 38 hours (Gosh, that was a record, and it seems I'm breaking it again!) and I'm feeling a bit dizzy but then, everyone was persuading me to go. After a few minutes under the rain in the middle of the parking lot, I choose one of the vans and hopped in. What the hell, I have this murky feeling that I need to go. I need to go with them or I'm SUPPOSED to go with them, I will never understand why, but then I made a decision to go.

Inside one of vans, I have to rest myself to at least a few minutes while on travel. I laid my head backwards, lounging on the middle seats together with my co-basses. In a few minutes, I fell asleep.

"Oi, gising na, dito na tayo."

I woke up with a heavy, aching head. That was the first nap in 38 hours and its really pissing me off to have my little joy taken away from me. With a blurry vision, I see the rest of the convoy parked in a subdivision in Santolan, Pasig, facing a big house, (when I say big, its big!), a two story house with a garage and a small garden. This is the house where the anniversary continues.

The choir gathered at the sala, made a few announcements and the work was divided. Some have to cook the pulutan, others to mix the drinks, others to make the activity paraphernalia, others to collect contribution and others to prepare the venue. As per the sleepless me, I have to stay at the sala, watch tv, and left to fall asleep. The tv was showing the animated CLone Wars flick, but my eyes are yearning for something more essential; a few minutes to close.

It was past midnight when I was awaken by the laughter emanating from the garage. I noticed myself slacked on the sofa, one feet on the backrest and the other on the floor, left hands on my head, right on my chest, mouth open, drooling...

Gross..

Should someone took my picture in this state, I'll look like a freshly-raped homeless hooker.

Anyway, I went to the garage with the rest of the choir encircled on a table with whiskeys and brandies with juices and softdrinks for chaser. They gave me s shot of the drinks and that first shot burned my throat and chest that I necessarily have to take the chasers immediately. I took a seat. It was just that I realized, I'm the only one waited to arrive to start the festivities.

We did a truth or consequence type of game. A beer bottle was spinned and whoever is the person who the bottle points shall pick a question. Should the person decides not to answer the question, he/she pays P20 to the choir. (so much for fund raising, eh?)

Every after two persons picked a question, awards were given to the deserving people. And we say awards, they are like...

Am Baho mo!! (Bassist who stink the worst)
Anjan ka pa rin!?! (Most tenured choir member - winner has stayed 28 years, Bow!!)
Megaphone of the Year (loudest voice)
Tira Ru (choir laughstock)

And yes, I was lucky enough to recieve an award, hahahaha.. Presenting...

Anjan ka pala!?! (most quiet choir member, hmmmm seems to work for me)

Yes, I have to wear my award on the party..

When it was my turn to answer a question, I picked from the question basket and I have to read the question aloud. And alas! My question is this...

"Was there any instance that you feel attracted to the same sex in this choir?! How did you respond?"

It was actually the question I'm dreading to answer that night; but lo and behold, its the question I'm about to answer. After a deep breath, I smiled and said,

"This is the question that I am avoiding this night, but then mukhang ako talaga ang nakatokang sumagot ng tanong na ito. Since I was a child, I know I have this tendencies of same-sex attraction, and it will be unfair for myself and for the rest of the people who care for me to deny who I really am. If there are attractions, shempre I don't have to deny it, but I have put aside what I feel when it comes to this choir; I'm here to serve God, and that's what I will do to the best of my abilities."

The applause thundered the garage.

Everyone was tapping my shoulder as I returned the piece of paper with the question on the table. It was a big surprise to them, knowing that I never was too outspoken when inside the choir. Just singing and serving is all I could do, and hopefully, this part of me that I finally revealed to them will place another point in the history. Its a good thing the revelation was accepted with open arms, and that will surely make me stay in the choir in a years to come.

Before the night ended, I was again asked as a follow-up..

"Were you attracted to anyone in the choir??"

Hmmm.. the plot thickens...

"Uhh, yes, I think I did, pero eventually nawala din, na set ko na kase ang status na hindi pwede dito sa choir, tska para wala na ring tsismis."

"Uy, sino? Sino??"

The whole choir was excited to hear my answer.

All I did was to get myself a fresh twenty peso bill from my wallet and placed it on the table.