Rain

I have to leave early for work. Shift starts at 10 pm but I left home around 6. Being early to wrok seems to keep me sane at this time. Getting busy to work is the only way to forget all the heartaches and pains.

It is unusually dark when I stepped out, as to the season and time's perspective. I could fill the humid air touch my skin and I could see subtle lighting blink behind the thickening clouds. It is certain that rain is coming.

And yes, here comes the first drop. One by one, water droplets are falling to the rooftops, patting gently, the symphony accelerating, like the sound of an audience applauding to a stunning performance.

Ah, yes, indeed a performance! Thinking about all the things that happened to me in the past months, yes, it is a performance! A struggle to survive, a fight for the sanity, a battle of patience versus understanding.

Immediately, like the rest of the people on the street, I grabbed my umbrella inside the bag and opened it. Others who unfortunately don't have any rain gears run for immediate shelter. As I open my three-fold umbrella, it shielded me from the raindrops. But there is something inside of me that entices me to remove the umbrella.

Unlike the others who are pissed off because of the rain, I find it enjoyable to have the feeling of the raindrops kiss my cheeks. It is like washing all the my inner wounds with running water. Painful as it passes the crevices of the contusions indeed, but then soothing as time goes by.

With all the pain ovewhelming my senses, I would love to cry, let all the tears flow from a broken heart and a shattered soul. As tears fall from my eyes, I would look up in the sky and see how it cries with me. As I cry to ease all the pain, the weeping skies extinguishes the flaming anger, resentment, regret and self pity I keep from within. I can cry big time and no one will notice, for the waters dripping from my cheeks are indistinct from the source.

I could scream and shout, and let the thunder bury the resonance of an angry lad. I could fall on my knees and fall flat on the ground, and let the mud hug my weakened body. I could be full of dirt, and let the rain wash all the stains of blood from a deafeated warrior.

I love the feeling of being in the rain and giving out all the pain back the skies and drop dead to end the torment, but still, its not the way things should be. I have an umbrella with me, and I should be keeping myself to get wet in the rain. Life still has its purpose, I just have to find it, and so I must continue.

But when the last raindrop falls for my life to end, it will be but my greatest bliss...